When best friends drift apart

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best friend

Eventually the regular contact dies off…but the love never does.

This photo is of my son Teddy when he was a baby being held a dear old friend of mine. About fifteen years ago this beautiful girl Vanessa, and I were besties. And recently, Vanessa shared some incredible news on social media that rendered me beyond emotional.

Vanessa and I had a funny friendship because for starters we got off on the wrong foot (probably because we were alike). But things turned around quickly, and our friendship blossomed quickly. Throughout our friendship we shared a penchant for drinking lots (oh those midori shakers at the Wangaratta Albion). We danced… twerked, slut dropped to Eminem and r’n’b bangers like we were fifteen and on our first night on the vodka cruisers (except we did it every Saturday). I’m pretty sure we could have taught Beyoncé a thing or two back in the day to be honest.

We shared clothes, make-up a mutual love of trashy tv and movies. And always had each other’s back. When a frenemy crossed one of us, they had double trouble guaranteed. We also nursed each other’s broken hearts after many a shit bloke in Wangaratta…. And let’s face it, we dug up our fair share. When times were tough we had a dancing pot plant back then that cheered us up and sung the lyrics to, “you are my sunshine….” Fuck, it made us laugh.

At one stage I think Vanessa was my only friend…she was my beacon of hope. More than just my lifeline to friendship, she let me sleep in her spare room when I got cheated on by some guy my Mum told me not live with and had to run away. I cried to her when I had depression and she understood when my anxiety meant I had to leave her house fifteen minutes after I arrived and ate all her KFC. We even had grant future of business ventures together (Ness and Nay’s – Top to Toe) – trims for hair and toenails… (I thought I’d be a podiatrist until realised I how very much hate feet).

I tried to set her up with friends of my boyfriend’s, so we could hangout ALL THE TIME, ill-fated though it may have been. We were barely separable, and I thought that we’d be best friends forever. We had picnics indoors (prawn and crab dip was the fave) when the weather didn’t permit our plans. We knew each other’s secrets, shared each other’s hopes, dreams and fears over the years and had each other’s backs. We could call on another for help and that continued even after I left that country town and headed back to university in Melbourne.

But heartbreakingly for me, my bestie (who had been my only sunshine at times) and I- we drifted apart. Communications between us became more sporadic. Life took us down different roads. I was devastated she was unable to attend my engagement party and remember thinking this is the beginning of the end for us. One day on Facebook I found she had a new “best friend” and I won’t lie… it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I wished things had of panned out differently, so she could be a bridesmaid in my wedding.

We’ve both had ups and downs and the extreme lows life can throw along the way. Neither of us had it easy back then in terms of health but also in relationships. But we were united by a little flame each of us were born with in our belly. We have always shared a good sense of humour and above all a mutual respect even when the rest of the world appeared to think we were halfwits. Which let’s face it, happened semi-regularly.

The other night I caught the tail end of some miraculous news about ‘my Ness’. And the tears came…. all of them. She has met a soulmate and her family is growing… and this is EXACTLY the happiness she has ALWAYS deserved, even, when she didn’t know it. She had it in her to achieve blissful abundance in love and I’m so glad that at the end of the day she never settled for second best. I couldn’t be happier for Vanessa who has built a new life for herself from the ground up through sheer grit, hard work, determination and always a touch of fierce independence and fire in the belly.

I congratulated my dear old mate Vanessa, with the same love I have always held for her in a space of my heart. I could not be prouder of her and I wish her every happiness going forward because I love her, and I am super proud of what she has created in terms of new beginnings.

The truth is I am a bit sad to watch this fairy-tale play out from the sidelines of social media, but I have still been privileged to share such a big and special part of her journey…. irrespective of whether they were for us the good bits, the bad bits, and everything in between. But the truth is such is the circle of life in a modern-day era. I look forward to watching and cheering with more social media love when bubba comes along…

And if such a thing exists I will hunt it down because I just know the newest member of her little tribe needs a flower mobile to hang above the cot and sing,” You are my sunshine, my only sunshine….”

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